The political situation in Sweden 1912
Mandatory reading:
Sweden is a small country, with a population of 6 million people, and 40% of them are under 20 years of age. Almost half of the population lives in the cities, and with the industrialization this trend of centralization shows no signs of stopping anytime soon.
Children between the ages of 7 and 13 have mandatory schooling, and in the upper classes this is often followed by extended studies. In the working classes most children start to work at the age of 13.
The importance of being born in wedlock is still prominent. Even though divorce is possible, it’s frowned upon. Women become adults in the eyes of the law at 21, but most marry before that, and then need the blessing of their father or closest male relative of age. To ask for a divorce is hard and always a scandal. The one asking for the divorce can never gain custody of any children, and the reasons for divorce have to be strong in court. Adultery is illegal and viewed as highly immoral.
The 8th of october 1912 the Balkan War started when several of the baltic states revolted against the Ottoman empire. Even if the war is far away, some worry it might spread closer to Europe.
Women are talking about getting the right to vote, and people’s opinions are divided in the issue. The workers’ unions seem to think that the most important thing is to change the voting rights so that all men can vote before starting to give any power to the women. In order to vote in Swedish elections you need to be over 24 and have property/earn a large amount of money. This means that most working class men cannot vote in the governmental elections. Both men and women over 24 can vote in local elections, but the votes are still based on your income – giving more power to rich men, women and companies than to poorer people.
The Union between Norway and Sweden
Mandatory reading:
The union began with a war. At the end of the Napoleonic war, in 1814, the great powers of Europe came together in Kiel to form a peace treaty. The Norwegian union with Denmark, which had lasted since 1537, was dissolved and Norway was given to Sweden in exchange for Swedish Pomerania and Rügen (which went to Denmark). The Norwegians opposed the union and wrote their own constitution, declaring their independence.
This stance led Sweden to take up arms against Norway, and Swedish forces marched across the border during the summer of 1814. The war was brief, lasting only three weeks. The peace negotiations resulted in a shared king, and a treaty where each country would have their own laws, defence force, and economy. The king would not be allowed to declare war without the support of the Norwegian national assembly, and he could not elect Swedish government officials to positions in Norway. But the king and the Swedish government were in charge of all foreign policies, and represented both countries abroad. This led to growing tensions during the second half of the century.
The dissolution of the union
As Norway introduced labor unions, parliamentarism and political parties during the19th century, the push to gain independence increased. The issues over foreign policy continued to worsen, and at the turn of the century, the Norwegian parliament began building up the military and positioning troops along the borders. Once again, war was brewing.
Norwegian soldiers guarding the border to Sweden in 1905
After the Norwegian Parliament voted to create their own foreign service and king Oscar II vetoed it, the Parliament resigned. When the king refused to accept their resignation, the Parliament declared that the king had failed in his duties and demanded that the union would be dissolved. They declared Norway independent on the 7th of June 1905. The 13th of August the men of Norway voted, and 368 208 voted for dissolution of the union, against 184 votes to remain. The women of Norway gathered 250 000 additional signatures supporting independence.
Norway’s declaration of independence led to a tense few months, with military mobilization on both sides of the border but dramatic negotiations in Karlstad between August and October resulted in a peaceful resolution. Norway was declared independent on the 26th of October 1905.
Views on the union and Norwegian independence
The Swedish-Norwegian union was a mixed success, and Norwegian and Swedish views on the situation differ significantly. The Swedes wanted a true union and a joining of the two countries, while the Norwegians wanted their independence and were continuously opposing laws and deals that could bring the two countries closer together.
After the end of the union, Norwegians were overwhelmingly pro independence and happy with the outcome. The Swedish reactions were more of a mixed bag. After all, they lost income and land mass, and had less support against a possible threat from Russia or Finland. However, the peace treaty between the two independent states was quite comprehensive and continued the strong ties between the two nations.
A Swedish Christmas
A traditional Swedish “tomte” eating his Christmas porridge
Swedish Christmas traditions
In 1912, Swedish Christmas contained a lot of the traditions we still see today, but some things have changed and more importantly many players might never have celebrated a Swedish Christmas. Under mandatory reading you will find a description of what traditions we will use during the larp, and a short list of things we did not do in Sweden 1912. Under extended reading you will get an overview of old folklore and traditions for those who wants to know more about Swedish Christmas history and traditions not necessarily present at the larp. You will also find some inspirational links.
Mandatory reading
Christmas eve
In Sweden Christmas is celebrated on the 24th of December, Christmas Eve. This is when you eat the traditional feast and open the gifts. Christmas Day is often used to rest after the big party and nursing the inevitable hungover.
During the larp Friday will be the 23d, Saturday the 24th and the larp will end on the morning of the 25th of December.
Christmas tree and Christmas decorations
The tradition with the Christmas tree came to Sweden from Germany in the middle of the 19th century and in 1912 it had already become an important part of Christmas celebration. The tree was often decorated with living candles, apples and candy hung in small baskets made out of paper. Making your own Christmas decorations in the shape of garlands and hearts was a common pastime. Ready-made decorations were commercially available, but only wealthier families could afford such extravagance. In the beginning of the 20th century it became common to add the Swedish flag as a decoration. On top of decorating the Christmas tree Sweden has a long tradition of Christmas decorations made out of straw, especially in the shape of rams. In addition to this it is not uncommon to see gnome like creatures decorating window sills and corners of the house. More information on that below.
During the larp the upper class will have the possibility to make decorations as a way to pass the time and the downstairs will finish of the work, making sure it is all looking perfect for Christmas Eve.
Dancing and singing
As in almost any country music and dancing is a part of any bigger celebration. In a time with limited access to entertainment the singing of carols was a common pass time, but also more traditional folk music could be a part of the christmas celebration, especially in the lower classes. In bigger houses the family often danced around the Christmas tree or, when that was inconvenient, through the whole house.
During the larp the upstairs family will dance around the house in the end of their Christmas party and then also dance through areas not commonly visited by the upstairs. Downstairs are warmly invited to join the dancing that marks the end of the upstairs party and the beginning of the downstairs party.
Santa Claus
In Sweden, we adopted the tradition of Santa Claus from the US but in 1912 the Santa Claus we had was not Santa Claus at all, but more of the traditional house guardian (more on this in the extended reading).
During the larp (international run) we will use the term Santa Claus to refer to this entity. We will not have anyone dressing up as Santa, something common today, but especially when talking to the children, referring to gifts as coming from Santa is completely fine. We will also put out porridge to the Santa during the evening.
Midnights Mass
A common practice was to hold a Christmas mass at midnight, reading from the Bible and singing some hymns. In the morning on Christmas Day many also went to church for morning mass.
During the larp we will not go to church on Christmas Day since we do not have a church, we will however hold a small midnight mass during Christmas Eve. If the weather is nice this might take place outdoors so it could be good to bring an extra sweater. If it is too cold it will instead be held inside. The mass will mark the official end of Christmas Eve, but you are of course allowed to stay up longer if you want to.
Don’t:
Refer to St. Lucia since it was not common practice at this time.
Refer to reindeers in connection with Santa Claus
Kiss people under mistletoe, that has not come to Sweden yet (unless you are well travelled and know about British traditions)
Playing Downstairs
Mandatory reading (for downstairs players):
Larping work – our vision
An exceptionally central part of the story is the household in itself. It is meant to be its own world with hierarchies, responsibilities and relations. Although the duties revolve around the family the larp does not centre around it. In some ways the household even dictates the actions of the family. There will be three floors in the back of the house for the servants to use and live in. The attic is for bedrooms and personal play, the main floor is for the kitchen and the basement is for eating, laundry, some food and firewood storage and general tasks.
Some tasks will have to be carried out, like keeping the fireplaces lit, cooking food and dishwashing while others very much depend on how much you want to engage with them, like mending clothes, cleaning and polishing shoes. We will have a couple of organizers and NPCs that can step in and help when needed so you should be very free to just play your characters and relations if you wish to.
Since we all have varying skills we ask you to play each other up as competent workers and give room for trying and failure so that we all can have fun with the tasks we engage in. No task should be carried out without company so make sure that you bring someone.
That being said, the theoretical goal or vision for the household is that every task that can be handled by a servant should be so that the family gets the suffocating feeling of restriction from not having anything to do. This is also reflected in their movements in the house. The family is expected to not intrude in rooms that are being prepared or cleaned and certainly not in the servants quarters, with exception for Mrs Ester Steinwall that will have contact with the housekeeper.
This differs from English gentry households in a few ways, and we want you to remember that the aesthetics we are looking for is not Downtown Abbey, but a Swedish bourgeois household in 1912.
Titles and responsibilities
Main Servant- Tailcoat
The main servant is in charge of the male servants and is together with the Housekeeper responsible for the planning and scheduling of any daily tasks. He is also in charge of the wine cellar.
Housekeeper- Private clothing in darker shades
The housekeeper has the overall responsibility of the kitchen and female staff and will mostly be working in the back of the house. She decides upon the menu together with the cook (ingame. Offgame this has already been done) and together with Mrs Steinwall, and makes sure that the schedule is kept in collaboration with the main servant.
Chambermaids – Black and white
Chambermaids primarily assist their own family in duties that requires knowing them, like taking care of clothing, going shopping, serving tea and making hair arrangements.
Manservants – Tailcoat
The servants primarily serve their own family in duties that requires knowing them, like taking care of clothing, going shopping, serving breakfast and setting the table.
Maids – Grey/blue and white with apron
Maids will be working primarily in the back of the house cooking, setting the table, plating food, doing laundry and tending to the fireplaces. Generally tasks that do not require any interaction with the family and can be dirty.
House maids – Black and white with apron
Housemaids help out in the kitchen and with lighter cleaning and upkeep. They are occasionally required to serve the upstairs in person such as during breakfast and therefor wear black. They will take part in preparing and decorating before the Christmas celebration. Occasionally the house maid also serve as chambermaids, now when the gentry are on leave and not able to bring all their staff with them.
Drivers – Private clothing
Drivers are mainly in charge of driving the cars and are therefore mostly in the way during the Christmas celebration proper, therefore they have been ordered by Mr Bergdahl to make themselves useful helping with tasks requiring heavy lifting such as laundry and dishes, and taking care of the firewood supply. Many drivers had their origin as stable boys and therefore knew their way around leather and can be asked to help taking care of shoes and leather details. They are not allowed to be seen in the upstairs area of the house and only enter that area when carrying up firewood.
Waiters- Tail coats
The waiters are only hired to serve the food at the table but can also be asked to stand by for errands in the upper class area, other than that they are welcome to help out in the kitchen and such.
An ordinary day in a household
The household wakes up early and prepare the house for the upper class. Breakfast is made, the fireplaces restocked and relit if they have gone out during the night and the common areas cleaned up from the activities last night.
After the household breakfast chambermaids and servants wake up their gentry and if required help them dress for breakfast. After breakfast the gentry are expected to leave the dining area, and stay away from the bedrooms to let the household clean in peace. During the day 2 or 3 in the household are expected to be on call to help the gentry at any time. About 2 hours before serving of any bigger meal such as lunch and dinner all of the household is expected to gather to get their tasks divided between them for the setting of the table and the last preparation of food. Generally the servants eat their food before it is time to serve the gentry, and not all at the same time since some need to be on call and keep up the kitchen work at all time. Chambermaids and servants are expected to help the gentry redress for dinner upon demand. On an ordinary day most in the household have freetime after 22 pm except the private servants and chambermaids that gets off once dismissed or when their master or mistress goes to bed, and two or three maids in charge to keep the fireplaces burning until 1 am.
Schedule for the Christmas weekend
Friday
6.30 am NPC and helpers get up
7.00 am Larp starts and early shift wakes up
8.00 Breakfast downstairs
9.00 Prepare the dining hall
9.30 Breakfast for the gentry
10.30-11.30 Cleaning and making of beds
10.30 Christmas decoration making in the parlour
11.00 Lunch served for downstairs
11.30 Gather for lunch tasks
13.00 Lunch for the gentry
14.00 Dishes and cleaning
15.30 Afternoon tea for the gentry
16.30 Gathering for dinner tasks
18.00 Dinner for staff served until 19.30
18.30 Dinner for the gentry
19.30 Dishes and cleaning
20.00 Drinks and games in the glass room or the parlour
21.00 Evening snack for the staff
22.00 Staff off work except for undressing and firekeeping
01.00 Late shift goes to bed
Saturday (Christmas Eve)
6.30 am NPC and helpers get up
7.00 am Larp starts and early shift wakes up
8.00 Breakfast downstairs
9.00 prepare the dining hall, start the decorating for Christmas especially parlour.
9.30 Breakfast for the gentry
10.30-11.30 Cleaning and making of beds, continue the decorating
10.30 Games for the gentry in the parlour
11.00 Gathering to prepare the Christmas lunch
11.30 Lunch served for downstairs
12.30 Lighter snack served for the gentry
13.00-14.30 Preparing of Christmas lunch
14.00-15.00 Prepping the dining hall
15.00 Christmas lunch for the gentry
16.00 The Christmas speech (all gather in the main hall)
16.30 Dance around the house
17.00 Gentry opening gifts in the parlour, prepare dining hall
18.00 Christmas dinner for the staff in the dining hall
19.30 Clean up dining hall for the evening dance
20.00 A light snack and dancing for the gentry in the dining hall
22.00 Evening mass, either outside or inside depending on weather
22.00 Staff off work except for undressing and firekeeping
01.00 Late shift goes to bed
Sunday (Christmas day)
6.30 NPC and helpers get up
7.00 Early shift gets up
8.00 breakfast for the staff
9.00 Wake up gentry
9.30 breakfast for gentry
Ca 9.45 Larp ends
How to behave towards the upper class
Usually: You are to be seen but not heard. Depending on your position your life revolve around avoiding them seeing you while carrying out your tasks. If you ever happen to cross their path you are to make yourself small, look down and curtsey/bow if they pay you attention. You are only to speak when spoken to, and have to take care when entering into a new room.
Special occasions: Christmas and other bigger celebrations are different in many ways. Unlike in the british upper class the staff is much more a part of the family, and especially the children can often move into the staff’s areas. During special occasions there is room for more intermingling and more freedom of behaviour. To wish the upper class a merry Christmas is not only appropriate but expected while crossing paths and parts of the celebration is done together
During the larp: We want to create that stark contrast between the first day’s more stern separation and the jollyness of Christmas breaking these boundaries. If you are a maid or a driver, who are not supposed to be seen by the gentry but have plot with them, use this obstacle to create play. Send notes with one of the staff that can move in the upstairs areas or make the children in the family your messenger. Use the short moments when your paths do cross to create meaningful glances, or make secret meetings where you can. During Christmas Eve these boundaries are meant to become looser and you will have more of a possibility to actively seek out play with the upper class if that is what you wish.
How to behave towards your co-workers
Usually: The household where you work is more or less your family and function as such. You know each other, and the same structure of power is at play here as in a real family, with the head servant being the father and the housekeeper a mother. You respect them and follow their commands and complain about your “siblings” the one in the same social status as you. To follow the order of social status is extremely important, and any conflict in the staff is not to disturb the smoothness of how the household is run.
Special occasions: Special occasions such as this, where several different staff groups are trying to work together as a unity and with guests bringing their own staff, make the social status both sterner and more loosely defined. People with the same kind of status from different households might butt head, and all of a sudden you are supposed to follow the lead of a stranger just because they have more status than you in another household. However it also brings more freedom. You are supposed to pitch in and help in areas you usually don’t help out in and there are new faces to get to know and interact with making it more haphazard and festive.
During the larp: We want you to use the fact that there are many different working styles and structures mingled in the same house as an alibi to break some of the rigidity of social status. Use the confusion of different groups having to collaborate as a reason to try climbing in social status or keeping the lower status characters in their spot. This makes it possible to also do tasks usually not in your area, such as helping out in the kitchen even if you are a chambermaid, or doing the laundry even if you are a driver. Use the first day to try and find your position in these social hierarchies and the Christmas Eve to explore the freedom of celebration.
Do not:
Overthrow the Main servant or housekeeper
Move in areas of the house where you are not allowed to be
Think this is like Downtown Abbey
Do:
Play on the social status within the household staff
Seek interaction with the upper class by using people who are allowed in their presence
Think this is like Fanny and Alexander
Playing Upstairs
Mandatory reading: (for upstairs players)
Larping Leisure – Our vision
1912 is a larp that wishes to be a window into another time. We want to put emphasis on the inequality and the different power structures that existed in Sweden a hundred years ago and for you, playing upstairs, we want to give you a feeling of the suffocating stillness of privilege. During the larp your experience will be the experience of surface and the boiling emotions suppressed by etiquette and manners. It is in the unspoken words and the glances in passing you will find most of the drama in your experience. A part of this is also the feeling of living in a gilded cage. Your movement will be much more restricted than the lower class characters and dictated by the rhythm of the household. Unlike popular belief it is not so much the staff adapting around you as you adapting around the staff that makes the clock work of the household work. You will have access to different areas at different times, and expected to respect the habits of these movements to allow for the staff to clean your rooms. There will be times when you will feel trapped or bored, this is a feature not a flaw in the design. To find space to breathe and be true and honest under the blanket of civilisation is supposed to be difficult. You are free to come up with your own way of passing the time. Sing in the parlour, recite poetry, play cards or chess in the smoking room, read a book, gossip with your friends or write a letter to the one you secretly love. Let the contrast between the first day’s more subdued and controlled atmosphere and the saturdays christmas celebration be tangible in the way you behave.
Social status
Your whole life revolve around an intricate net of social structure where men are more important than women, elder better than the young, money and honour most valued of all. To navigate these intricate structures takes skills. Skills you have been taught since you were born. This also reflects how you interact with the staff. You will with a few exceptions only interact with a fraction of the staff.
Mrs Inez and Ester Steinwall might call for Mrs Anna Lundström, Ester Steinwalls housekeeper to plan special happenings during the day, but even though they are the ones calling the shots they know that a polite suggestion to do otherwise from the Housekeeper is a blatant no. There is a trust that the staff knows better how to run the household smoothly.
The main servant Gunnar Bergdahl might be summoned by Gustav or Georg Steinwall for the same reason.
Other than that the most personal relationship you have with the household is with your private servants and chambermaids. It is however quite uncommon to have a private servant, and chambermaids often help more than one person. These people knows you well and can often be worthy of trust and confiding. When moving through the house you are welcome to acknowledge the staff if they are wearing black, but it’s not necessary. They are there to be your extra hands and not to speak unless spoken too. Staff not appropriately dressed (such as maids in grey or blue and drivers without uniforms) are not supposed to be seen, and it is a collaboration between them not walking where you are and you ignoring them if they would happen to pass you that makes this possible.
Titles
The historically correct way of addressing people in this period of time was.. Complicated to say the least and we will not even try to recreate that. Instead we will use something that will give the right feeling rather than the textbook version. How you address people will vary depending on age, social status and gender. Here are the rules of thumbs:
Family and close friends
No matter age or gender you can refer to these people by their first name in private gathering such as christmas celebrations. If you want to show respect or be formal you use title and lastname. You difference between people with the same lastname and title by first name. For example “Miss Steinwall” “Miss Edith Steinwall”
New aquaintances
You always refer to new aquaintances with title and Last name. For example “Mr Steinwall” or “Restaurant owner Steinwall”
Dropping titles
We recommend that you drop titles with these acquaintances quite quickly to make it easier for yourself but it is up to you. Dropping titles is only done by the person with most social status and can be used as a power play. Elder men drop titles with the younger men, Older women with younger women. Between the genders it get’s more complicated especially when not married since it is quite flirtatious to drop titles in that situation. Both men and women can drop titles to flirt. In this instance with many people with the same last name, the natural thing would be to refer to each other with Mr/ Miss and the first name. Leaving out the Mr/Miss, would be a show of intimacy.
The lower class
You are expected to know your own staff by name. You refer to them by name. Housekeeper and Main servant by last name and servants and chambermaids can vary. Last name if you are not very close, first name if you have become friendlier. Maids and kitchen maids are referred to by first name in the family they serve, with a Miss to show respect if they are older than you. Drivers generally are referred to by their last name.
Different rooms and playing areas
In reality you only have access to about a third of the house. There are four rooms on the lower floor and then the bedrooms on the upper floor that are for your disposal.
The hallway can be used for lounging and conversation, the dining hall is open for serving of the meals and dancing on christmas eve, the parlour is accessible for musical entertainment, games and gossip, and the smoking room, only accessible for male characters for conversation, games and business deals.
In these common areas private conversations can be held in whispers but it is important to act appropriately. For private conversation it will be hard to find a space where you are allowed to be, and this is on purpose. To try and sneak around, setting up private meetings and such is a part of what it means to be upper class. You can always go for a walk outside or try and find a quiet corner in the hallways upstairs. To enter into someone else’s bedroom is of course highly inappropriate but a possibility for privacy that comes at a great cost would you be found out.
This limited amount of space in combination with the expectation that you will not enter in to rooms closed of for cleaning and prepping is a design choice to help you feel the constrictions of privilege. The house also have three more areas where you are not allowed to enter with a few exceptions. The staff quarters are placed in the attic, there is a kitchen and prep-room in the main floor and there is a cellar level where the staff has rooms for working and socializing. The only characters that can be seen here without causing a scandal are the Mrs Steinwalls to have a meeting with the Housekeeper, or the child Inga Norde who is still young enough to be able to move between these invisible zones without a loss in social capital. The other young characters are all in the strange position of once have been welcome in the kitchen and staff areas but now expected to stay away from these parts of the house out of respect of the staff. Would day venture to the staffs areas of the house and it would be discovered it would be highly frowned upon.
An ordinary day
An ordinary day you would be woken up by the staff in time to get dressed for breakfast. Perhaps even served a cup of coffee or tea in bed if you have made such arrangements in advance. After having breakfast in the dining hall you would retreat to the parlour while the staff finish cleaning your bedrooms and the dining hall, not gaining access to your bedroom until later in the morning. After a couple of hours spent doing embroidery, working, gossiping, playing games and reading books or newspapers it is time for lunch that is presented when the doors to the dining halls are opened. For men with a profession, they most likely leave the house after breakfast to go to their work or a club where they socialize with other men. The women most likely stay at home or visit a friend. This is how the day progress only broken off in it’s monotony by lunch, and coffee or tea. Most men make their way home in time for dinner. After dinner the men generally retreat to the smoking room or stay on the invitation of their wives in the parlour to spend some time with the family before going to bed.
Schedule for Christmas weekend
During the christmas weekend the men have no jobs to go too, and instead this is time meant to be spent with the family. This means everyone mostly crowded on top of each other for good or bad. The schedule for the gentry will look like this (with room for adaptation and changes based on what activities you come up with during the larp)
Friday
6.30 am NPC and helpers get up
7.00 am Larp starts and early shift wakes up
8.00 Breakfast downstairs
9.00 Prepare the dining hall, waking up for upstairs
9.30 Breakfast for the gentry
10.30-11.30 Cleaning and making of beds, gentry assumed to stay in the common areas
10.30 Christmas decoration making in the parlour
11.00 Lunch served for downstairs
11.30 Gentry can access their living quarters
13.00 Lunch for the gentry
15.30 Afternoon tea for the gentry
18.30 Dinner for the gentry
20.00 Drinks and games in the glass room or the parlour
22.00 Staff off work except for undressing and firekeeping
01.00 Late shift workers goes to bed
Saturday (Christmas Eve)
6.30 am NPC and helpers get up
7.00 am Larp starts and early shift wakes up
8.00 Breakfast downstairs
9.00 Wake up for gentry
9.30 Breakfast for the gentry
10.30 Games for the gentry in the parlour
11.30 Gentry gains access to living quarters Lunch served for downstairs
12.30 Lighter snack served for the gentry
13.00-14.30 Preparing of Christmas lunch
14.00-15.00 Prepping the dining hall
15.00 Christmas lunch for the gentry
16.00 The Christmas speech (all gather in the main hall)
16.30 Dance around the house
17.00 Gentry opening gifts in the parlour
18.00 Christmas dinner for the staff in the dining hall
19.30 Clean up dining hall for the evening dance
20.00 A light snack and dancing for the gentry in the dining hall
22.00 Evening mass, either outside or inside depending on weather
22.00 Staff off work except for undressing and firekeeping
01.00 Late shift workers goes to bed
Sunday (Christmas day)
6.30 NPC and helpers get up
7.00 Early shift gets up
8.00 breakfast for the staff
9.00 Wake up gentry
9.30 breakfast for gentry
Ca 9.45 Larp ends
How to treat the staff
Unlike in the Uk and series such as Downtown Abbey the staff in the swedish bourgeois household was very much a part of the family. You were expected to know their names and treat them with civility. As children you were often served food in the kitchen and cared for by a nurse rather than your parents. As an adult you rely on the staff for your house to run comfortably and there is a fair deal of mutual respect that goes both ways. However this does not mean that the upper class did not abuse their power. Sexual predatory behaviour was common and in the cases a maid was found to have sexual relationships with an upper class gentleman the shame fell on her even if she might have been less than willing. This abuse of power was possible but not always present. As mentioned above you are very much dictated in your behaviour by the need of the household. An respecting their need to work in peace comes as natural to you as it does to order them around without any second thought off their own comfort.
Do not:
Enter rooms where cleaning is carried out
Enter the staffs living quarters (not even characters with reason to go into the staff areas would dream of going there.
Think this is like Downtown Abbey
Do:
Play on your plots quietly and in the small actions
Find the loopholes in the social contract of behaviour
Think this is like Fanny and Alexander